So recently I have had several conversations with unhappy, judgemental and uptight people. My diagnosis and opinion of why they are that way? It’s all the rules and labels they have on themselves and others of ‘what’ and ‘who’ they should be, and ‘how’ they should or shouldn’t act. It’s crazy!
We get married, and become a husband or a wife and we have a belief that we should be a certain way. We own a business, or get a corporate job and then there is another way we should act. We hit 30 or 40 and there is another thing we should or shouldn’t do at that age. We become a parent and then we can’t have fun, or do things to fill our cup up because that’s being selfish. Why…..because that’s what everyone else does! Because……what will people think? Because…….if I want people to take me seriously then I should!
What I realised about my life, at a time when it felt most out of control and unwinnable, was that I had some pretty messed up rules that pretty much meant that there was no way I could win the game, have fun, feel joy each day or switch off. I felt like crap often. I was busy being busy. And busy but empty. (not sure if any of you can relate)
I realised that I was so busy being responsible and acting ‘my age’, being a mum, a business woman and all the other things that went with it, that I stopped doing the things that actually lit me up. It sounds so simple, but when you are in the thick of the crazy, its not that easy. Fun was no longer on my agenda and guess what I became an un-fun person (if that even is a word!)
I remember being at a dinner with some women one night, all kid free, sitting there smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside WTF as meaningless conversations happened over kids, schedules and even the freaking price of the tuna can’s at Aldi that week!! This was supposed to be my fun outlet, but it was far from that, just more buying into the labels of who we should be, how we should look and how we should act.
So it wasn’t until I had the opportunity to have fun again, and stopped adulting for a few days that I found my spark and passion again. I realised that while I was a mumma, wife, business woman, chef, driver, counselor, hr manager, investor and the rest, I didn’t have to loose who I was in the process. That I could wear lots of hats through my day or my week, but that I didn’t have to get un-fun and bitter on the world along the way.
So my new motto, act your shoe size, not your age!! Stop feeling like you have to conform to what society, your peers, your family or your work colleagues think you should do, act or behave! Do more of what lights you up! Laugh more, have fun, dance, surf, learn to skateboard (even if you are in your 40’s and haven’t done it since you were 10). Bring the joy back into your life and watch your perspective on everything change!! Look at who in your life brings you joy, makes you laugh and brings meaning into your life, and spend more time with those kinds of people! (FYI I no longer do dinners with peeps who talk about the price of can’s of tuna at Aldi!)
I dare you to start by planning one thing for yourself this week that isn’t responsible, its just fun!! Call that friend who always makes you laugh and go do something together. Enroll in a learn how to surf lesson. Start dancing. Make a kick ass playlist and play it every day in the morning. Just do something for you, for your soul, something that lights you up and watch your world change xxx